PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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