youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
he high fived his dick after we had sex
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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