thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
