Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
