wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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