So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
