idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
