Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
