I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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