That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
