come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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