Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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