I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize