Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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