wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Randomize
