I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize