So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize