i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
It was confusing and full of hummus
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
