I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
whose ass print is on the piano?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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