I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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