you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
