watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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