I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
You smell like stripper and shame
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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