Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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