jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
are you so shy because you have an std?
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
