You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Floor bacon is actually really good
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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