So drunk its hurt
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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