then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
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STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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