Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
