I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Randomize
