my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
He shit in the fireplace
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
