fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
