You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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