Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
