Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
