you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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