Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
