Just fell off a train. Bad.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
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