Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
