You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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