If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
