Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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