OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
