The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
