he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
