No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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