it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
True strength comes from lack of pants
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
