I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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