I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Randomize
