I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
