i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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