I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Screwed.edu
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
