did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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