I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
