it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
All I want is dick and wine.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
