So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
