Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
