Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
