just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
