mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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