i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
