Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
