literally had 100 drinks last night.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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