so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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