My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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